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I'm in the process of moving back in with my parents (because I've been out of work since August and my savings account looks like the world's saddest piece of empty Tupperware), and I've got about $14 to spend on food until Thursday. While trying to figure out what I can eat that isn't fast food or requires cooking, I started packing up my kitchen stuff, and stumbled across a canister of coffee I'd bought at Trader Joe's back in March.

I'd thought I was out of coffee, and on my current budget, another pound is a little out of the question. Which is bad news for a lot of people, because coffee is what has so far kept me out of prison, or at least some kind of secure mental hospital.

Plus, I thought, this coffee is the better part of a year old, and I didn't recall liking it all that much to begin with. Something about how it was bitter and acidic and gave me heartburn so bad I thought my throat was melting. Which is a feat: I never have heartburn, even after eating super-spicy food.

I was all set to throw it away when another part of my brain -no doubt slapped into action by the smell of the grounds and the kind of recklessness that comes from four months of brain-shrinking boredom- kicked up and said:

You idiot, don't throw that away! Caffeine is an appetite suppressant!

As a mark of how bored/desperate/stupid my current situation has made me, I actually thought about this. Hm. Yes, it is true that I don't have much money... And I can't afford to buy more coffee... Even though I was thinking about it because I know caffeine is an appetite suppressant...

And so I came to my conclusion: Even if this coffee is terrible, like I remember it being, it still has caffeine. If I can stretch my food budget until Wednesday evening, when I take my stuff back to my parents' house, I can deal with a little dragon-fire heartburn.

Oh Lord, forgive me, your stupid little penitent follower, for trying to thwart my hunger.

This coffee is WORSE than I remember. (Again, it was bad to start with; I'm sure that seven months of sitting in my pantry has contributed to its slide in quality.) It smells like no coffee should ever be allowed to smell, and it went down about as smoothly as a cinder block.


In other news, it's time for lunch.

Harry Potter Fandom Stuff Meme Thingie

Characters I love: Severus Snape, absolutely. Also Hermione, Luna, McGonagall, Lupin, Molly, and Dumbledore... Although Dumbledore is more on the "love and hate simultaneously" end. I also get a huge kick out of Filch, if for no other reason than he's just so wickedly over-the-top.

Characters I love to hate: I'd say the character I come close to having genuine hatred for is Umbridge, and there's actually a reason beyond Order of the Phoenix. However, that is a very long story, and while I am glad to tell it, not in the middle of a meme.

Favourite character to write: Severus. I've been writing Snape-centric fics for about five years, and I've never had any problems finding his voice or channeling his personality. I also enjoy writing Lily, because she is kind of a blank slate and it makes it easier to develop her.

Favourite character to draw: I cannae draw. //epic sadface//

Favourite type of fic: Hurt/comfort, humor, angst, smut

Favourite trope: Hm... Probably enemies/rivals turned lovers. And fish-out-of-water scenarios.

Trope I hate: Draco in Leather Pants/Ron the Death Eater. There is not enough "UGH" in the world to adequately convey my feelings on them. And also "rape as character/backstory/plot" and fics that exist to do OOC character-bashing. (Like, the example I gave was, if Severus is bashing James and/or Harry, that's fine, because that's in-character. But Hermione wouldn't, nor would Luna or Ron or really anybody else.)

The Sorting Hat would shout: I seem to be really evenly split between Slytherin and Gryffindor, any time I take a quiz. Pottermore put me in Slytherin when I had my beta account, and then Ravenclaw when I forgot the password and started another one post-beta. Ravytherdor?

My favourite Hogwarts classes would be: Charms, Potions, DADA.

Character I am most like: I've said for a while that if you took Severus's stubbornness and sarcasm, Hermione's skepticism, Luna's general demeanor, and a dash of Sirius's recklessness, and put them in a blender, you'd probably get me. And I'd look like Snape (I have black hair, a big nose, and a fondness for all-black clothing.)

Currently writing: A ficlet for Snapefest, and trying to add chapters for the middle of my three-part, semi-canon-compliant Snape and non-shippy OFC story.

When I write I listen to: It depends. Songza, the stuff on my iTunes, Pandora, a movie in the background, or my cat purring next to my head.

Where my work can be found: FF.Net and AO3.

Favourite fics of others: "The Moment It Began" by Sindie, "Lioness Loricatus" by Dena Grey, "A Difference in the Family: The Snape Chronicles" by Rannaro, "A Gift Freely Given" by Lady Altair, and "visceral" by expiry 4.23.

Favourite fic of my own: Oh boy. Um... Of all of them, I'm happiest with In Her Image, which is the first of my three-part story about Severus and his relationship with his (OFC) niece, Chase. It was a lot of fun to write, especially when Chase went through puberty (because I've always had this image of Severus, whenever one of his Slytherin girls needed a tampon, cowering under the desk and levitating the box toward them), and even though there are parts I'd re-do or would like to expand (I always have a nagging feeling that I could really go much deeper into their relationship and expand on both of them as characters), I can't really criticize myself too harshly for it. "Storm and Strife," part 2, is coming along well, albeit slowly, but I'm okay with that, because there's a character backstory I absolutely need to incorporate and it's not incorporating well, and I'd rather take my time and have it work than rush it and have it be painfully obvious I just slap-dashed it together out of frustration.

I'm also still really happy with The Only Thing That's Real. (Warning: Severus is a cutter in this fic.) It didn't take me long to do, but apart from one or two minor word choice issues, I can't think of anything I'd do differently.

Favourite art of others: Akatnamedeaster, Makani, and Pojypojy. And because it always makes me laugh, this little panel.

About Me

Mini-Bio: I'm a just-turned 27-year-old with a white Bic lighter in my glove compartment. However, as I am right-handed, can't play any instruments, and have never tried any drugs harder than marijuana, I think I'm safe.

My favorite flavor of Chapstick is spearmint.

I like cats. And bunnies. And puppies. And horseys. Anything cute and fluffy, basically.

I'm still in college, due to being poor af and not having started until I was 23. Unfortunately, I've also been unemployed since August 5th (and the job I was supposed to start last Tuesday has now been pushed back to December 1st //frantically pummels all-wood desk with both fists//), so with that, and the very unexpected and sudden passing of my grandfather on August 30th, the last few months have been the longest and suckiest of my life so far. On the plus side, I found out that I can live by 80-cent boxes of scalloped potatoes from Aldi alone.

For those of you who don't know Aldi, it's awesome. And it's owned by the same entity that owns Trader Joe's, so the stores are pretty similar. Both stock mainly private-label brands, both have standardized prices at all of their stores, and both generally offer better prices than any of their competitors. The one thing I will miss about the Midwest (where I have lived my entire life -first in Youngstown, Ohio, until I was 16; and Indianapolis, where I've lived since 16- and can't wait to leave) is Aldi... Unless they have some stores in New England? (My best friend lives just outside Boston, and he told me he's never seen any Aldis there.)

Until April, I drove a 1995 Subaru Impreza. Then its engine blew up and it died next to a graveyard at one o'clock in the morning (which, as my best friend put it, was "goth as fuck" ... And truly, after I got over the shock of "ohmuhgawd, my CAR just frigfraggeding DIIIIIED"-ness of it all, it became a lot funnier/awesomer) and I had to buy another car, because I live in Indianapolis, where not having a car is a death sentence, both financially and physically. (Seriously, public transit out here sucks at its absolute best; when I was in high school, before I had my own car, I tried to get to a doctor's appointment by catching a bus, and because the buses out here run on a "whenever we goddamn fucking feel like it, peasant" schedule, I was two and a half hours late for my physical.) I then had to clean out my savings to buy a 2008 Chevy Cobalt, which I actually like a lot more than I liked my Subaru, apart from it being a front-wheel drive instead of an all-wheel. I'm still not entirely used to the front-wheel drive, which is extremely, painfully obvious when I'm driving on wet roads and get a little "OI! Not so fast, yeh moron" stuttering from my wheels. (I'm actually a pretty good driver; I've been in accidents -including one where a Rich Housewife of Brattleboro cussed me out after rear-ending me, but she shouldn't have been going down the icy mountain road at fifty miles an hour, SHOULD SHE HAVE?! Beeyotch), but I've never *caused* one. Still, you'll never hear me badmouth my Subie. It was a good little car while it ran, and it was built like a friggin tank, which definitely saved my life a few times (see: Icy Mountain Speed Demon).

All that said, I'm a fairly optimistic and happy person. Unless you give me a solid reason to not like you (like, you're a judgmental asshole and have ridiculously high standards that you demand everyone else live up to, while also demanding that no one ask the same of you), I'll probably like you. Or, at the very least, I won't make consider you for my annual blood sacrifice to Cthulu.

Addendum to my last post...

Can I use the "I'm a writer" defense in court? Or doesn't it work when you write fanfiction?

I've been on a writing semi-tear lately. On the one hand, this is great: I'm getting one of the stories I've been working on for about three years closer to finished, and I figured out how to make the ending, which had been just slightly off ever since I finished writing it two years ago, actually work and make sense.

On the other hand, I'm on a "Snape destroys himself in every way imaginable" kick, too. First it was cutting. Now it's a one-shot where he uses heroin. A lot of heroin.¹

But, as I have never chased the dragon myself, or even been around people who have (my ex has used almost every drug under the sun², and even he wouldn't touch heroin with a ten-foot pole), I need to edumacate mahself. Which, of course, means looking up government-sponsored sites that have been trying to assure me for 27 years that if I so much as glance at a dirty needle, I will abandon my cat, my job, and even my hygiene to score, all the while singing "Herrrrr-oh-iii-iin... It's my wife, and it's my life." That is probably not enough to get me on any watchlists.

Doing a Google Image Search on what a person looks like while shooting up? So that I can get an idea of how to tie a tourniquet or how straight the arm should be? That's probably a little closer to the "what the actual fuck" line.

My morbid curiosity and need for accurate detail will be the death and/or arrest of me, I swear it.

And in any case, I like the song "Heroin" well enough, but my favorite heroin song is "There She Goes" by The La's. (You know, the one that became a huge hit when Sixpence None The Richer covered it and thought it was about... What *did* they think it was about, anyway? Well, I still like Sixpence None The Richer. Kind of.)

¹To be fair, my headcanon for Snape includes him being a pretty hardcore drug user in his late teens, with no substance untested. Including smack.

²Mark has also never willingly done cocaine (he smoked a joint that was laced with some once, which is, according to him, a thoroughly unpleasant experience), which is one major difference in attitudes toward drugs between us. The drugs I always wanted to try were marijuana (tried, and found rather //meh//), shrooms, LSD, anything psychedelic basically, and cocaine.
There comes a moment when I, being the virginal (//snort//) little writer I am, need to know what heroin looks like. You know, for a story. So I google it. And then I wonder...

Can I use the "I'm a writer" defense to the DEA?

(Yeah, I should mention: The only illegal drug I've ever used is marijuana, once, which seriously doesn't count. Especially in my case, I didn't even get the munchies. I am boring.)

waywardmixes Round 30: Magic - Halloween

For this round, I wanted to celebrate my favorite holiday, Halloween, and the magic associated with it. As well as a bit of terror, because Halloween can't not be scary.

Playlist below the cut.Collapse )


First 15 songs on shuffle:

1. Anarchy - KMFDM
2. Sex Type Thing - Stone Temple Pilots
3. Cup Of Coffee - Garbage
4. Monster - Lady Gaga
5. Shut Up and Dance - Walk The Moon
6. Things You See in a Graveyard - Repo! The Genetic Opera soundtrack
7. Vasoline - STP
8. The Witch's Garden - Abandoned Toys
9. Seether - Veruca Salt
10. Night on Bald Mountain - Modest Mussorgsky
11. Longview - Green Day
12. Crushcrushcrush - Paramore
13. Look to the Skies - Creature Feature
14. Only - Nine Inch Nails
15. Nothing But Trouble - Phantogram

Why do you like the first song? Because it's awesome.
Who does the second song remind you of? It's supposed to?
Name your favourite lyric from the third song: "I smoke your brand of cigarettes and pray that you might give me a call/I lie around in bed all day, just starin' at the walls/Hanging 'round bars at night, wishin' I had never been born/And give myself to anyone who wants to take me home."
Do you have any special memories attached to the fourth song? No, I just like it.
Do you relate personally to the fifth song? Not really.
Does/would your grandmother listen to the sixth song? HELL to the no. As far as my grandmother knows, I like Disney songs. (I'm okay with that; she's never quite realized that I'm an adult, never mind pushing 30.)
What did you think when you first heard the seventh song? I don't remember. I was probably six or seven when I first heard it.
What colour does the eighth song remind you of? Um... Good question. Maybe purple.
What is the ninth song about? That, mon ami, is one of the great mysteries of grunge. What is the Seether? Louise Parker's vagina? Female temper being repressed too long? A South African alternative band?
Does the tenth song get stuck in your head easily? It does, especially this time of year.
Would you play the eleventh song for a toddler and not feel guilty? *dies laughing*
Is the singer of the twelfth song hot? I think Hayley Williams is cute enough, but I still think she ripped off Shirley Manson's look.
What part of your life does the thirteenth song best describe? Halloween?
Does the fourteenth song have a cool music video? I like it. I don't know if it's "cool," though.
How old is the fifteenth song? Not very. It's from 2014, I think.
Which of these is your favourite? 10.
Your least favourite? I don't have "least favorite" songs.
Have any of these made you cry? 3, when I was going through a bad breakup.

Round 29: Star Wars (1977-1983): Han/Leia

Fandom: Star Wars
Subject: Han/Leia
Title: "A Princess and A Guy Like Me"
Warnings/Notes: Nothing much that I can think of, really.

Mixy goodness here!Collapse )

*despairing wail*


My favorite Snape/Lily fanfic ever, Ananke, is dead.

It's been almost three years since it was updated. THREE. YEARS.

WHY, CRUEL FATE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

But on the other hand, I rediscovered an excellent, canon-compliant Snape fic I'd started reading a few years ago. A Difference in the Family: The Snape Chronicles, by Rannaro. And it's complete.

So... Eh. Yeh win some, yeh lose some. (Still, I'm kind of hoping Eunike will come back and finish her story.)

Household-y type survey

Swiped from Kat.

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
A peppermint-scented liquid body wash, a few sad remnants of a bar of Ivory, and Tresseme Color Care shampoo and conditioner. And also Garnier Fructis Damage Eraser deep conditioning mask, because I just *had* to try and dye my hair purple.

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
Nope, and now you mention it, I really want some watermelon. Watermelon is tasty.

3. Is there anything moldy in your refrigerator?
Um... //clears throat// probably.

4. Are there any dirty dishes in your sink?
Nope, I just finished washing the dishes.

5. What would you change about your living room?
That I actually had one, mainly. The joys of studio apartments.

6. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
Vhat eez zis "dishwasher" you speek uhf?

7. Do you have a can of mushrooms in your pantry?
No, but I do have a jar of Better Than Bouillion mushroom base. It's rather tasty.

8. White or wheat bread?
Wheat, and preferably multi-grain. Although if I'm making something like french toast or grilled cheese, I'll buy whole-grain white bread.

9. What is on top of your refrigerator?
A vase of dried miniature roses (which happened by accident, but they ended up drying very nicely, so I'll keep them until I move), an empty pitcher, an ice-cube tray, and a rolling pin I never use. And other things that probably got stuck up there at some point.

10. What colour is your sofa?
"Colour"? With a "u"? What is this commie bullshit?! This is 'Murrica, dammit! We say "COLOR!"

Anyway. I don't have a sofa.

11. What colour or design is on your shower curtain?
Again with the superfluous "u"!

Clear with blocks in varying shades of blue.

12. How many plants are in your home?
None. My cat, Riley, eats every plant I bring home (and then pukes it up, because cats are plant-barfing assholes). That's actually why I put my roses on top of the fridge in the first place, so he'd stop chewing on them.

13. How many candles are in your home?

14. Is your bed made right now?
At the moment, no; the covers are folded back.

15. Electric or standard can opener?

16. Comet or Soft Scrub?
Barkeeper's Friend. Which is like Comet but doesn't trigger my asthma. (Why my airways like Barkeeper's Friend but not Comet, I have no idea.)

17. Is your closet organized?
It's, um... There's nothing on the floor? //hopeful grin// I should mention now, I'm kind of a slob.

18. What colour is the flashlight that you use the most?
//glares at the commie bastard "u"//

I don't have a flashlight; I'd typically use my phone, with the brightness turned all the way up.

19. What kinds of things are in your junk drawer?
The usual: Screwdrivers, scissors, rubber bands, ancient and unusable keys my pack-rat tendencies won't let me get rid of, maybe a couple of fingers and toes...

20. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home.
Glass. Riley is, shockingly enough, not a glass-tipper.

21. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
I do, actually!

22. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
No garage. However, my mother did tell me, a couple of weeks ago, that she's glad the Cobalt hasn't become a rolling Hoarders featurette, the way the Impreza did.

23. Curtains or blinds?
Curtains. Rattling blinds are one of my "I KEEL YOU NOW!" noises. (Whistling and stupid loud drunk people at three in the morning when I have to be at work at eight are the other ones.)

24. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three: One under my head, one on top of my head, and one off to the side that I stick my arm under.

25. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?

26. How many ceiling fans are in your home?

27. How often do you vacuum?
Not nearly often enough. I should fix that.

28. Standard toothbrush or electric?

29. What colour is your toothbrush?
Blue and white.

30. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
No. I would like one, though.

31. What is in your oven right now?
A cookie sheet.

32. Is your microwave clean or dirty?
I don't have a microwave. Not enough counter space for one.

33. Is there anything under your bed?
A couple of pieces of wadded-up notebook paper that Riley batted under it.

34. Chore you hate doing the most?
DISHES. Ugh. I have this major thing about getting ONLY my hands wet. I don't know if it's because I'm clumsy and having wet hands makes it worse, or if I suffered some kind of wet-hand-related trauma as a kid, but it just makes me twitchy.

35. What retro items are in your home?
An old sewing machine my grandmother gave me. I don't use it often, though. It's difficult to thread and temperamental even when it's threaded right.

36. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Ahem. Studio apartment.

37. If you have a yard, who mows it?
No yard, hooray!

38. Is there anything on your kitchen floor right now?
Riley's food and water dishes.

39. How many mirrors are in your home?
Two: One over the bathroom sink and a full-length mirror by the front door.

40. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
I have a spare change coffee can that I'll dip into sometimes when my brain is going, "ICED COFFEE NOW, OR YOU'LL BE TEAR-ASSING AROUND INDIANAPOLIS FOR THE NEXT TWENTY-FOUR HOURS." (Yes, caffeine calms me. #ADDlife)

41. What colour are your walls?

Apartment Beige. If I had the time and money, I'd probably repaint them pearl gray, or maybe a light blue.

42. Which rooms in your house have wallpaper?
Wallpaper is icky.

43. Do you have a peephole in your front door?
Yes, and I can use it! If I stand on a box.

44. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
I have a can of mace and all seven Harry Potter books in hardback. Don't look at me like that; we all know that one can sustain major brain damage if hit on the head with a copy of Order of the Phoenix. Barring that, I also have a heavy, spherical glass paperweight that I can go all One-Armed Man on an intruder with.

45. What does your home smell like right now?

46. Fave candle scent?
Yankee Candles' Autumn Wreath.

47. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
I think, like, a half-jar of bread and butter chips?

48. Who are in the pictures you display?
My niece, my cousins, Alan Rickman, and... Yeah, that's about it.

49. What colour is your favourite bible?

50. Do you have plenty of cabinet space in your kitchen?
I actually think I do, but I can't use most of it because I can't reach half of the cabinets. #shortgirlproblems

51. Ever been on your roof?
No, but I'm not complaining. I live in Indianapolis; there's no skyline here to speak of (and even if there was, it's not visible from where I'm at).

52. Do you own a stereo?
Nope. If I'm listening to music, it's either playing on the laptop or I've got my earbuds plugged into my phone.

53. How many TVs do you have?
One, and it's ancient. It has a built-in VCR, if that tells you anything.

54. How many house phones?

55. Do you have a housekeeper?
Yup. Me. And I'm a lazy bastard!

56. What style do you decorate in?
"This is my first apartment; everything in here was donated by family, pulled off the side of the road, or on clearance at Goodwill." If I had the money and the time, I'd decorate it in an industrial/Art Deco style.

57. Do you like solid colours in furniture or prints?
//side-eye// Solids.

58. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
Yes, but I took the battery out (everything would set that fucker off), so the legality of it is, well... Questionable.

59. In case of fire, what are the items you would grab if you only could make one quick trip?
Riley, my phone, my computer, my purse and car keys, and a keepsake box of pictures.

60. Do you know how to work your electrical box?

61. What temperature in your home is most comfortable to you?



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