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I'm in the process of moving back in with my parents (because I've been out of work since August and my savings account looks like the world's saddest piece of empty Tupperware), and I've got about $14 to spend on food until Thursday. While trying to figure out what I can eat that isn't fast food or requires cooking, I started packing up my kitchen stuff, and stumbled across a canister of coffee I'd bought at Trader Joe's back in March.

I'd thought I was out of coffee, and on my current budget, another pound is a little out of the question. Which is bad news for a lot of people, because coffee is what has so far kept me out of prison, or at least some kind of secure mental hospital.

Plus, I thought, this coffee is the better part of a year old, and I didn't recall liking it all that much to begin with. Something about how it was bitter and acidic and gave me heartburn so bad I thought my throat was melting. Which is a feat: I never have heartburn, even after eating super-spicy food.

I was all set to throw it away when another part of my brain -no doubt slapped into action by the smell of the grounds and the kind of recklessness that comes from four months of brain-shrinking boredom- kicked up and said:

You idiot, don't throw that away! Caffeine is an appetite suppressant!

As a mark of how bored/desperate/stupid my current situation has made me, I actually thought about this. Hm. Yes, it is true that I don't have much money... And I can't afford to buy more coffee... Even though I was thinking about it because I know caffeine is an appetite suppressant...

And so I came to my conclusion: Even if this coffee is terrible, like I remember it being, it still has caffeine. If I can stretch my food budget until Wednesday evening, when I take my stuff back to my parents' house, I can deal with a little dragon-fire heartburn.

Oh Lord, forgive me, your stupid little penitent follower, for trying to thwart my hunger.

This coffee is WORSE than I remember. (Again, it was bad to start with; I'm sure that seven months of sitting in my pantry has contributed to its slide in quality.) It smells like no coffee should ever be allowed to smell, and it went down about as smoothly as a cinder block.


In other news, it's time for lunch.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Nov. 25th, 2015 04:17 am (UTC)
I'm drinking coffee right now. I bought some the other day, so I can have coffee when I'm at home. Starbucks won't open for a few hours, so I'll make do with this instant cup of crap.
{ Well, tbh; it's actually not that bad. Better than most instant coffees. }
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )



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